Surviving the Holidays

He started rolling to his tummy at 4 months old!

Once you make it through Halloween, Thanksgiving flies by and then it's already Christmas. This Thanksgiving, I made my first turkey dinner ever. I've never cooked a turkey and I was so worried about ruining it. Luckily I was really only cooking for 3 other people, Jerry, Xander and my brother Michael (Uncle Jose). The turkey was still frozen solid when I took it out of the fridge on Thanksgiving morning, even though I had placed it in the fridge 2 days before. I had to thaw it in a sink with cold water, and that did the trick. My parents and my sister and brother-in-law were all out of town and I didn't feel like dragging two kids everywhere to eat other relatives' food. I have always wanted to make my own dinner anyway. I missed out on some of my favorite dishes, but I did make some of the traditional ones. I did the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, cranberries and rolls. I think my mom usually makes a shrimp salad, yams and fruit salad too, but I didn't have time. I hate yams anyway! I also made my favorite thing, the fruit cocktail with 7up. It all turned out well and we were all stuffed afterwards.

Now I'm working to get Christmas together. There is still so much to do, but I'm trying not to be stressed about it, I will get done what I can get done. I think we mostly just need to shop for Xander and Wesley. It's hard hauling around two kids, but we still try to see the lights on temple square. I love going there and seeing it all lit up. You really do get so caught up in the presents and everything else that you need to step back and let yourself be reminded of the true spirit of Christmas. For those who are religious the meaning is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ (even though his birthday is really in April). We celebrate his life by helping others around us, friend, family and strangers. I try to keep this with me throughout the year. My biggest excuse for not helping others enough is that I feel so busy. I am busy, but I know that if you truly want to do something you make time. Just like I love to workout at the gym, I make that time almost every single day. I need to make time once a week or more often to do service for others. I did make yummy treats for my neighbors to enjoy, but I know there is so much more I can do to help out. I also love doing the angel tree every year and buying things for children, who just want one toy, or just desperately need a new pair of shoes to give them a good Christmas.

I hope this Christmas can be a really good one for everybody. We only have 12 days left until the 25th!

Picture overload

Xander as Buzz (his favorite character ever)

Welsey modeling one of my creations

Tummy time, he's getting so good at 15 weeks old

Halloween

Xander and me getting ready to go out in the rain for candy

Two cute brothers

Bathtime!

He loves those hands!

Well I've gone to back to work and it has been hard! It think it has been harder then it was when I left Xander. I feel like a bad mom that I can't stay home with my kids, but I blame myself. It was just poor planning on my part. A few years ago I didn't even want kids, so I never even planned for being a stay at home mom. Now that I had a taste of it for 3 months it's all I want more then anything right now! It really does just come down to money. We just can't afford the house and the cars and everything else without me working. We are willing to give it up for me to stay at home, but getting out of the house will be a huge challenge. I think we are going to put it on the market anyway and see what happens. It's a beautiful home and I'm going to be sad to leave it, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to be with my kids, at least while they are young and need me so much. I just think figuring out what to do will be really difficult and I don't know where to start.

I think the kids are adjusting okay. They are in a home daycare in Kaysville. I just feel like there is no place good enough for my kids, but they are only there for 7-8 hours on the weekdays that I work. Jerry takes care of them on the weekends that I work. It has been really exhausting! Hopefully someday soon we can figure what to do so I can be with the kids, if it is possible.

Xander has to get another set of tubes almost exactly a year after his first set. Poor little guy! Apparently his old set keep getting clogged and one is coming out. They told me they don't think he can hear very well. He is still speech delayed and not making too much progress. I think the surgery will be really easy and go well. I just really really want him to be able to hear. He needs to catch up with kids his age.

Wesley is doing really well. He is such a healthy, happy, content baby. He is easier then Xander was at this age. He still has his moments but he is just awesome. I don't know what he weighs right now, but I'm going to guess at least 16 lbs. He is a good eater and he likes his mommy milk. Everyone comments on how big he looks for a 3 month old. My kids just grow really fast. Xander gained weight really quickly too his first 6 months of life. I think he is hitting his milestones. He is getting good head control. He doesn't roll yet, but I'm sure he'll figure it out when he's ready.

Life is too crazy as a working mom. When I work I go pick up my kids from daycare and they both demand so much of me when we get home. I'm so exhausted from getting up at 2:40am, that if I didn't have two kids to take care of I would take a 2 hour nap after work. Yesterday was my last day of work for seven days and I was so tired after the kids went to bed that I could not stay awake for anything. I can't keep working a schedule that requires me to come in at 4am. I get more rest when I'm off work taking care of my kids, but they do both sleep through the night. Wesley started around 9-10 weeks old going about 10-11 hours and he does really well most nights.

Yikes, look what showed up on our front lawn!

In case you couldn't tell..we like Halloween! If we had more time and money we would probably decorate more, it's way more fun then decorating for Christmas. Jerry got the idea for this evil centipede from a book last year. He has been wanting to do this forever. It took him a few hours, but I think he did a good job. I can't believe Halloween is just three weekends away. I haven't even thought of a costume. We took Xander trick or treating last year when he was just barely walking. This year I'm sure we will take him out to more places and I think he'll have a blast.

My life as a stay at home mom is coming to an end.

I only have 2 more weeks left until I have to go back to work. I'm sad and I know it's going to be so hard, especially that first week. I don't hate my job, but the two things that make it the hardest are getting up before 3am so I can make it in at 4am and leaving my kids in daycare. I hate being super sleep deprived for seven days! It's awful. We did find a place and I do have a good feeling about this daycare so I hope it works out. I just really want my kids to be in good hands if I have to go to work and I had some bad experiences with the daycares that Xander was in. We didn't even start Xander in daycare until he was 5 months old. For the first couple months after my maternity leave Jerry stayed at home in the mornings to watch Xander. Eventually this arrangement got too hard, so daycare is our option for now. At least they will only have to be watched for 7-8 hours. I might start looking for a position with more normal hours so I'm less exhausted.

I'm still not completely sure if I could just be a stay at home mom, but these last few weeks have made me feel like it would be possible. I like being in full control of my children's care. We have a routine going as well. I try to get up before they both wake up and have some mommy time. I get the kids up and get them fed and then we go to the gym so I can enjoy a workout. We then get home and do feedings and I try to get them both to sleep. In the afternoon I also try to take care of things like housework, bills, or we try to go out and shop if we need something.

I have also picked up a hobby that I am really enjoying lately. I learned to crochet while I was still pregnant with Wesley. I wanted to make him baby hats and a blanket. The hats ended up too small but the baby afghan turned out really well and I'm sure we will get a lot of use out of it when it gets colder. I would love to get better at crochet so I can make nice stuff for my family and friends. I did make a cute baby baseball cap for a friend for her baby shower, but I would love to get better. I figured out how to read the simpler patterns so I think I'm slowly getting better. It wouldn't hurt if I found a place to take a crochet class. I'm still looking into that.

Wesley and Xander both continue to grow like crazy. Xander is saying more words but we still don't really understand him. I hope by the time he is 3 he will at least use small sentences. He is still doing speech therapy, but it is slow progress. He loves doing animal sounds, but I think all kids love animals, so that's just fun for him. He just seems healthy and his congestion problems haven't been as bad the past few months. Wesley is already 10 weeks old and he just keeps growing. He is a good eater and was 14lbs 2oz at his 2 month checkup. They said he was only 22.5 inches but I was looking at the measure and it looked like he was hitting the 23 inch line. He started smiling around 6 weeks and now he smiles all the time. He is a very good baby and he is kind of sleeping all night, he usually makes it from his last feeding at 8pm all the way until 5am. Our ultimate goal with his routine is getting him sleeping all night and on the same schedule as Xander with a bedtime of 7:30pm. I love an early bedtime so Jerry and I can get a break and spend time together every evening. Our kids are just both very cute and we are so blessed to have them and that they are so healthy. I just hope I am doing a good job and I just want them to grow up having fun and being happy. I can't wait until they are older and I can teach them things like snowboarding and water skiing. We need to buy a boat someday when we are rich. I hope these last two weeks don't go by too fast because I am going to be crying all the way into work on my first day. If our finances ever allowed it someday (and we are trying) then maybe I can stay at home or at least only have to work part time.

Wesley's baby blessing

Xander at his Baby Blessing

We had the blessing for our second baby this Labor day weekend. It is so neat to see Jerry use his priesthood and I really felt the spirit when he was blessing our sweet baby. Wesley is still a very good, mostly calm baby. He does have his cranky moments but he is such a little sweety. I watch his big brother run around all day going crazy and it does make me sad they don't stay so little and cuddly for very long. Xander is still cute, I just wish he wasn't so exhausting all day long. I'm so glad he still needs naps! I don't know what I'm going to do once Wesley goes mobile! We had the blessing in the Kaysville tabernacle and Wesley got to wear the blessing outfit that Xander was also blessed in. Once he was wearing it, I pulled out some pictures of Xander wearing the same outfit and they look like identical twins! They are different kids with different personalities, but they have a lot of similar physical features. I think Wesley is going to have gorgeous blue eyes too. They are both very cute kids.

It's still difficult adjusting to two kids and I hope it really does get easier like some people have told me. I'm already dreading my return to work, that will just add a whole new dynamic. I still haven't even found a daycare yet. I hope something works out soon. It really is hard to leave your kids with a stranger. Xander has already been in a few different daycares and I have found something to be unhappy about with each of them. There is no place good enough for my children.

Life with two kids

I have heard that the transition from 1 child to 2 is not too bad and I have to agree. It has its challenges but it has not been a total nightmare. If you had asked me 5 years ago where I would be right now, I'm not sure I could have imagined being a mother of two. Life is crazy with children but I'm getting used to it. The hardest challenges come when I need to take care of something and I have to find a sitter to do it. I do have some help from family and friends. I just wish I had an automatic nanny to be there every time I need a break or to take care of things.

I am a slight control freak and I need to have a routine to my days. Luckily I have found a way to establish a slight one so far. I am feeling almost back to normal since Wesley was born so I'm going right back into being as active as I can be. I have been taking morning walks with both kids in the double stroller, plus I go to the gym twice a week now. Wesley's feedings have taken on a schedule of sorts, so I try to plan around them. Sometimes the house gets cleaned and dinner gets made. I feel bad for Xander. He really requires a lot of attention and he really wants to be played with. He will play on his own but he gets bored doing that all day. Wesley is only 3 weeks old, so I'm still waiting for him to be a little older before I start taking him out more. I'm slowly figuring out how to do things. I just wish I could give Xander more of my time.

I can't wait to get Wesley on a regular bedtime so that Jerry and I can get a little evening break to ourselves. I love having Xander's bedtime at 7:30pm and it has been that way since he was a baby. I hope Wesley will fit into that schedule soon. I also can't wait to get out more. I like spending time at home, but I get restless. I think I'm doing the best I can for a person who has never truly been a "kid" person. As long as I don't leave any mental scars for my children and they survive their childhood I can die happy. Being a mom is crazy!

Wesley is here!

Our baby is finally here and I started to think he would never come. Wesley Jacob was born July 22nd 2010 at 8:26pm. He weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 20 in long. He was born one day before his due date and we are so happy he is here. I had given in and decided to schedule an induction for Friday the 23rd. I was scared because I was hoping to go natural like I did with Xander and I know it's very hard to do with inductions. Wesley had plans of his own. I was starting to feel worse as this week dragged on, having cramping and pain. On Thursday when I was actually in labor it was hard to believe because I had been dealing with the same pain all week. I woke up that morning, played with Xander and went to the gym. I did a full 60 minute workout and started feeling a few cramps towards the end of my workout. I cleaned and straightened up the house as much as I could since I knew we would be trying to have Wesley that weekend. The cramping started getting worse while I vacuumed. They started getting worse around noon, but I still thought it was false labor.

Jerry called me around 1pm from a break at work. I told him about my pain and he made the smart decision to just come home. He works 50 miles away so I'm very grateful he showed up. The pain was manageable so I decided to wait until my 4:30 appointment with my midwife to determine if I should go to the hospital. We packed all our bags just in case. We took Xander with us because we didn't have a sitter available.

I told the front desk at the clinic that I might be in labor. The nurse told me just to go to the hospital. I asked if there was anyway my midwife could just check me first. I was already almost 7cm dilated! We went straight to the hospital to get admitted. We were panicking trying to find somebody to take Xander. My parents were out of town and my sister was at work in SLC. We were up at Ogden Regional Hospital. Things were a little crazy for a while. I started getting more regular contractions and Jeremiah was chasing Xander around the hospital room. My sister finally made it to Ogden around 6:30pm and took Xander to our house. It was a relief because I needed my coach (Jerry) to get through the pain ahead. The pain this time around was a lot tougher. This labor was a lot different because my water didn't break beforehand. I took a bath in the jetted tub to ease the pain but it got really bad. I got out at 7:50pm and the rest is a little blur because the pain was intense. I got in the bed and was ready to push even before my midwife could get there. They tried to make me wait but I needed to get that baby out! My midwife did arrive at the end and Wesley was born at 8:26pm after two contractions. It was painful but quick.

Wesley is the sweetest and cutest baby. Xander wasn't too bad when he was born but Wesley is so calm compared to him. He hardly cries unless he is hungry. He is so easy to love and I'm so glad I was blessed to be his mom. I know I still wish for a daughter really badly someday but I do really feel blessed to have my two healthy adorable boys. I hope that we can make the transition to a family of four as smooth as possible. I'm still recovering from the birth but we are all home and doing well right now.

Xander is 2!

New tricycle, I hope he likes it more as he gets older

Toy Story, Xander's favorite!

Checking out the presents

Opening Presents

Xander turned 2 on July 13th but we had a last minute birthday party for him on Saturday the 10th. It was last minute because I have been worried about this baby coming at any time. Xander was 3 weeks early, originally not due until August, so I kind of expected this baby already. Right now I'm looking at 9 days left and no baby yet. I really hope it's soon. I'm getting way to anxious and I really don't want to work anymore.

We just had a small party with some family and friends. Xander was spoiled and got plenty of new toys. He had so many toys that we had to put some away. I can't believe how many toys we have accumulated since he was born. I'm sure he will have plenty of toys to share with his new sibling. I wish I could make Xander understand that there will be a baby around, but I still feel like there is a language barrier. He only says a few words and doesn't even use them regularly. We are doing speech therapy and I hope we can get him talking soon. I'm sure he will catch on someday.

It feels like we just celebrated Xander's 1st birthday and now he is already 2 years old. I think the second year of his life went by faster then the first year. I'm praying and hoping the next blog entry will be a birth announcement, and in a few days time!

Almost ready for baby

Cars blanket for Xander

Baby blanket

My huge stomach

Crochet baby blanket

We are looking at less then 4 weeks until this baby is due. If history repeats itself we have a lot less time then that. Xander was 3 weeks early so I'm feeling more and more anxious. I hope I'm ready for all of this. I hope I don't go into labor and have to have the baby in a car, or some other crazy situation. I have done this before so I know that labor is not really a fun or comfortable experience. You just never know what to expect. I'm trying not to worry about everything.

To occupy myself and get excited I have been doing a few projects. I decorated a nursery, but I also wanted to acquire some new talents. I decided to try crocheting. It was really tough at first. I was so frustrated because I couldn't even make a simple chain. I got a little bit of help from two of my coworkers who crochet and I was able to get some projects started. I have been working on hats and my biggest one was a baby blanket. I don't know how many hours that took me, but I finally have it finished. I can't do anything difficult and patterns just confuse me, so I have had to do my projects from scratch. Maybe I can take a class someday and patterns will make sense. I work at a cancer hospital, so it would be neat to crochet some hats for the patients undergoing chemo.

Through the help of one of Jeremiah's aunts I learned how to make tie blankets. They are very simple and fun to make, plus I think the end product is pretty cute. For a baby blanket you only need a little more then a yard of two fabrics. For a child blanket you need about 1.5 yards, and about 2 yards for an adult. You put the two fabrics together and cut them until they are about the same size. You then find a perfect square that's probably about 4x4 inches. You put it on each corner and cut around it. You have a square missing from each corner. You then cut out strips from all the sides that are even and start tying your two fleece fabrics together. If my explanation doesn't make sense, I know there are a lot of places on the internet you can turn to, to find a good pattern. They are really very simple though.

California Trip

Xander and great-grandma

In San Francisco

On Alcatraz

A smile captured on camera!

We decided we needed to go on a trip before we are busy parents of two kids and changing tons of diapers all day. We decided to drive out to California in mid-May. It was our first real trip with Xander. It was kind of tough like I expected it to be, especially being in my third trimester of pregnancy, but we still managed to have some fun. We drove all the way across Nevada and stayed in Reno for the night. We then finished our trip the next day arriving at my Grandma's house. We spent a day in San Francisco and visited China town and Alcatraz. The next day we went to Six Flags in Vallejo. The toughest parts of the trip were keeping Xander happy because he was totally of schedule. I think he really needs that schedule which is bedtime at 7:30pm and a long mid day nap. We just kind of had to throw it out the window for our trip. He managed to take a short nap everyday. You would think that he would sleep on the long car rides, but he had a hard time being comfortable. The thing that saved us was buying a portable DVD player for the car rides and letting him watch cartoons. It was tough being pregnant on the trip because there was a lot of walking and my feet are starting to swell. We survived and we managed to have some fun. Plus we got to visit my grandma who I usually only see a couple times a year.

Enjoying the spring weather

Easter weekend was cold and wintry, but this last off week from work was just the opposite. It has been warm and gorgeous, but it is Utah, so things could turn back to snow any day now. We finally got started on yard work. I will try to make the flower beds look as nice as I can until this baby decides to arrive. With warm weather comes..swelling. I feel my rings getting tight and I definitely don't want them to be cut off. I do have some fake rings I can try to wear soon. I would just feel naked without my wedding ring.
Jerry took the day off on Thursday to get some yard work done and so we could take Xander to the zoo. I think his favorite animal is the monkey for now. They are the most interactive out of all the animals. I think he had a good time, especially when he had his first ice cream cone.