Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Picture overload

Xander as Buzz (his favorite character ever)
Welsey modeling one of my creations
Tummy time, he's getting so good at 15 weeks old
Halloween
Xander and me getting ready to go out in the rain for candy
Two cute brothers
Bathtime!
He loves those hands!

Well I've gone to back to work and it has been hard! It think it has been harder then it was when I left Xander. I feel like a bad mom that I can't stay home with my kids, but I blame myself. It was just poor planning on my part. A few years ago I didn't even want kids, so I never even planned for being a stay at home mom. Now that I had a taste of it for 3 months it's all I want more then anything right now! It really does just come down to money. We just can't afford the house and the cars and everything else without me working. We are willing to give it up for me to stay at home, but getting out of the house will be a huge challenge. I think we are going to put it on the market anyway and see what happens. It's a beautiful home and I'm going to be sad to leave it, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to be with my kids, at least while they are young and need me so much. I just think figuring out what to do will be really difficult and I don't know where to start.
I think the kids are adjusting okay. They are in a home daycare in Kaysville. I just feel like there is no place good enough for my kids, but they are only there for 7-8 hours on the weekdays that I work. Jerry takes care of them on the weekends that I work. It has been really exhausting! Hopefully someday soon we can figure what to do so I can be with the kids, if it is possible.
Xander has to get another set of tubes almost exactly a year after his first set. Poor little guy! Apparently his old set keep getting clogged and one is coming out. They told me they don't think he can hear very well. He is still speech delayed and not making too much progress. I think the surgery will be really easy and go well. I just really really want him to be able to hear. He needs to catch up with kids his age.
Wesley is doing really well. He is such a healthy, happy, content baby. He is easier then Xander was at this age. He still has his moments but he is just awesome. I don't know what he weighs right now, but I'm going to guess at least 16 lbs. He is a good eater and he likes his mommy milk. Everyone comments on how big he looks for a 3 month old. My kids just grow really fast. Xander gained weight really quickly too his first 6 months of life. I think he is hitting his milestones. He is getting good head control. He doesn't roll yet, but I'm sure he'll figure it out when he's ready.
Life is too crazy as a working mom. When I work I go pick up my kids from daycare and they both demand so much of me when we get home. I'm so exhausted from getting up at 2:40am, that if I didn't have two kids to take care of I would take a 2 hour nap after work. Yesterday was my last day of work for seven days and I was so tired after the kids went to bed that I could not stay awake for anything. I can't keep working a schedule that requires me to come in at 4am. I get more rest when I'm off work taking care of my kids, but they do both sleep through the night. Wesley started around 9-10 weeks old going about 10-11 hours and he does really well most nights.