I survived!

I just wanted to let everyone know that we survived my first week back at work. It's not easy but we made it work. I hope things will work out and I can be a stay at home mom someday but right now I just have to be patient. Xander seems to be handling things okay despite getting moved around to different people everyday. Well my mom watches him at least once a week and then Jerry stays home from work to watch Xander until I finish my shift. He then has to go to work at night on those days that I work. We might try to look into daycare again, but I do like the idea that he is watched by Jerry and my mom while I work. Daycare is just scary because you have to really trust that your baby is in good hands. I know most of the time that a baby is in good hands at a daycare but it's still hard.

Life is going okay, but nothing exciting is coming up. All the big events that happen with a new baby are over. The excitement and the visitors have died down. All the baby showers are over. Xander already had his baby blessing with all the visitors. He has a lot of people who love him very much.

Jerry has a cousin who had a baby the day after Xander was born. She finally had her blessing this last Sunday. Jerry got to go to that with Xander and see some family. He was talking to his aunt as she was holding Xander. She was telling Jerry how much his mom would have loved her little grandson. It really made me think about what is missing in our lives right now. Jerry's mom passed away when he was 16 from lung cancer. She had been a serious smoker for quite a few years. I never got to meet my mother in law. I have no idea what that is like to have that relationship. I know Jerry misses his mom. Xander and I will never know her in this life. He is lucky to have one set of grandparents. My parents are only in their 40's so I think they will be in Xander's life for a long time. The saddest thing about Jerry's mom passing away is that she smoked and got lung cancer. If she had just quit or never picked up that awful habit she could be part of our lives right now! Smoking is such an awful and selfish habit, especially if you are a parent. Save money and your lives and quit smoking. I just wish I could have met her and Xander could have another grandma.

Changes

When a new baby is born, families and friends always debate about who the baby takes after the most. I will let you decide for yourself. We combined our baby photos, all around the same age. In my opinion Xander got a good mix between the both of us. I'm on the left and Jerry is on the right.

Just when life starts to get normal and routine something else has to change and completely throw life off balance. The dreaded day is finally less than a week away. I have to go back to work next Tuesday. I have to leave my poor little guy, but I know he will be in good hands. We tried to find daycare, but either they didn't want a baby so young or they wouldn't take a baby part-time. My mom and Jerry will be taking care of Xander while I am at work. I feel bad, but I have to go make some money.

On a lighter note, Xander is doing really well. He's almost to his 3 month birthday and gaining weight like crazy. He has put on so much weight, I wonder if it's too much. He was only 6lbs 6oz at birth. Yesterday I weighed him using my Wii Fit and it said he was about 14.8lbs! He is only 11 weeks old. I just don't want him to get too big too fast. It makes me feel sad. I miss how little he was when he was born. At the same time though I don't miss those first few weeks. I didn't have anything figured out yet. I would do things so much different if I could go back in time to when Xander was a newborn.

I have finally figured out a routine with Xander. He wakes me up anywhere between the hours of 5am to 7am and I have to feed him. He then passes out for a few more hours but doesn't want to sleep in his crib anymore. I eat breakfast and then get us both ready to go to the gym. I get in a good workout and then we go home for the rest of the day. Jerry comes home at 5:30pm and then he wants to hold Xander and play with him. I then go make dinner while he is watching him. We figure out what we will be doing for the evening whether it be shopping or just watching TV. We try to put Xander to bed by 8:30 so we can spend a little time together.

Working out has finally started to pay off for me. I started going back to the gym when Xander was 4 weeks old and I now go at least 4-5 times a week. I am finally losing weight. I hope I can get back down to a healthy weight soon. I will try to remain optimistic. I'm losing weight and Xander is gaining weight.