I survived!

I just wanted to let everyone know that we survived my first week back at work. It's not easy but we made it work. I hope things will work out and I can be a stay at home mom someday but right now I just have to be patient. Xander seems to be handling things okay despite getting moved around to different people everyday. Well my mom watches him at least once a week and then Jerry stays home from work to watch Xander until I finish my shift. He then has to go to work at night on those days that I work. We might try to look into daycare again, but I do like the idea that he is watched by Jerry and my mom while I work. Daycare is just scary because you have to really trust that your baby is in good hands. I know most of the time that a baby is in good hands at a daycare but it's still hard.

Life is going okay, but nothing exciting is coming up. All the big events that happen with a new baby are over. The excitement and the visitors have died down. All the baby showers are over. Xander already had his baby blessing with all the visitors. He has a lot of people who love him very much.

Jerry has a cousin who had a baby the day after Xander was born. She finally had her blessing this last Sunday. Jerry got to go to that with Xander and see some family. He was talking to his aunt as she was holding Xander. She was telling Jerry how much his mom would have loved her little grandson. It really made me think about what is missing in our lives right now. Jerry's mom passed away when he was 16 from lung cancer. She had been a serious smoker for quite a few years. I never got to meet my mother in law. I have no idea what that is like to have that relationship. I know Jerry misses his mom. Xander and I will never know her in this life. He is lucky to have one set of grandparents. My parents are only in their 40's so I think they will be in Xander's life for a long time. The saddest thing about Jerry's mom passing away is that she smoked and got lung cancer. If she had just quit or never picked up that awful habit she could be part of our lives right now! Smoking is such an awful and selfish habit, especially if you are a parent. Save money and your lives and quit smoking. I just wish I could have met her and Xander could have another grandma.